-- Looks disgusting.
-- Aie... disgusting, indeed. Is it something vomited by a Nawipkeyzätx?
Wait, wait, cadets. Don't jump to conclusions too fast. If I am showing you this thing, it is because it is part of your training. And let me tell you that the Apes call it a pizza, and they eat it. It is made with ground vegetable seeds, some meat and other vegetable matter
Good observations, cadet Hämi Te Yuepxoe 'Ipxpaä'itans. And, indeed, it is a possible explanation. I can tell you that my first impression when I examined the mouth of these creatures was that they, indeed, suck blood. Several species on this planet survive on the blood of other creatures. The naked apes call them "vampires," and we use this term, too.
-- Are they all vampires?
No, cadets, not really. Even though, occasionally, they do, but they don't survive on that. Vampires are small creatures that eat the blood of much larger ones -- they can do that because they are so small that they don't kill their target. On planet Earth, the largest vampire species we could identify are called "bats" by ape scientists. They are truly small. About a hundredth of the weight of a naked ape. To keep the proportion, these apes would need to feed on creatures so large that they couldn't exist on this planet. Gravity would crush them!
-- These apes are interesting creatures. But vampires.... well, it would truly disgusting.
-- And worrisome, too.
Don't worry, cadets, these apes are not going to suck your blood. To be sure, they have some strange stories about creatures of their size doing exactly that. But I never could verify these stories, so I'll just assume that they are part of that virtual world that apes call "legends." In any case, the reason for the small mouth is perhaps even more interesting than if they were vampires.
-- Tell us the reason!
Well, cadets, there are two possible reasons, one of which I don't think it is completely satisfactory, but it is worth examining nevertheless. And it has to do with the object I showed you at the beginning of this class.
-- And you say they eat it?
Yes. the story is that they eat pre-digested food.
-- Do they......?
-- Really?
Ah... simple, cadets, simple. You know that digestion is a process that breaks down the components of food into its basic components. It is done by several enzymes secreted by the body. Now, something similar can be done by heating the food, a process that the apes call "cooking."
-- We never heard of anything like that.
-- What would that be?
It is a form of pre-digestion. For instance, it denaturates proteins into more easily absorbable forms, and it also breaks down the cell walls to free nutrients, and much more. Cadets, let me tell you that these apes are quite sophisticated in their idea of cooking. And it is an interesting, very interesting cultural pattern. Those pizzas are, actually, very good.
-- You ate ape-made pre-digested food?
-- Is that true?
Cadets, a Reptilian scientist is not afraid of personally testing the subjects she studies.
-- Aw... yes. It sounds, it sounds like....
I know, cadets, it sounds disgusting. But it is part of your training.
-- Really?
-- Is this a test we have to pass?
Not now, cadets, not now. But as you progress in your training, you'll have several tests to pass. And you might as well like pizza....Or maybe you can start with the kind of food they call Sushi. It is raw fish.
-- A good reptilian warrior eats raw fish.
-- Of course she does.
Yes, and raw fish comes with a dose of aromatized ethanol called Sake, which has the purpose of altering a little your brain's synaptic activity. You may try that too.
-- We'll do that, if it is part of our training, but....
-- Meuianga.... please...
Cadets, I am sure you'll do your best. But let me go back to what we were discussing. We were examining the small mouth of the naked apes, and this idea of the pre-digested, or "cooked" food may explain it. If cooking makes food denser in terms of its nutritional content, then these creatures don't don't need to swallow large amounts and can have a smaller mouth. Doesn't that makes sense to you?
-- At least the way you stated it.
-- But how does pre-digestion increase the nutrition content of food?
Ah... this is a good observation, Cadet Kewpxzi'ì Te Lìpuaynin Stìuyi'itan. Cooking is mainly a help to make food more easily digestible, but it doesn't increase so much its nutritional value. But it is a reasonable explanation because it also makes the food softer, and so you don't need a big mouth to chew it. So, it is possible. Actually, it was proposed first by an ape scientist named Richard Wrangham some years ago. Here is an image of the "book" where he proposed it. Notice the funny thing on the head of the chimp - it is what they call a "hat" -- we'll discuss that later on.
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Wrangham is another smart ape; I met him a few times. He tried to convince me that his explanation is the right one, but I am not sure. Because, really, it seems not sufficient to me. Also, I think there is a much better explanation. But we have to go in-depth into the way these apes behave and this we'll see in another lesson. So, thanks for your attention, dear cadets, and have a nice relaxation with your daily super-meta. Or, if you like to try one of those things.... pizzas.... I can beam up one for you.
- Well.
- Maybe.
- Shouldn't we.... ?
- Why not?
